Yes, yes, yes. I rarely re-post links from other places in this little space. But this one resounds and resounds and resounds in my head and heart and I feel I can’t NOT share it. http://modernmrsdarcy.com/2014/09/4-levels-friendship/
I have often felt the pull of having a different expectation or understanding of which level we are on with friends and family. And I have been hurt deeply by friends and family members who I thought were intimate friends and then I found out that I don’t actually matter to them. Or maybe they don’t relate on those levels anymore with anyone. Or maybe they’ve moved beyond having intimate relationships or at lease beyond making them a priority. Those are the ones that sting the most and I have yet to figure out a good way to bridge the gap in some of those tender relationships. And I know I’m not alone in this– and I know I have caused this for others at times, without meaning to hurt them, when I needed more space or better boundaries in my own life or when I am unable to be all that they want from me.
I have other friendships that have faded because of time and distance or stress or life circumstances changing or other complications that life throws our way. Often there was no obvious strain or disagreement, just that we’re in different places and able to offer less support in our current positions than previously.
There is a season for everything and watching the way that friendships and relationships change and grow and fade throughout those seasons is an amazing thing to ponder and also a testament to God’s abundant faithfulness in my life.
And I have countless friendships that have changed and evolved over the years, but continue to be a source of joy and grace in my life. Some of these people I have regular contact with, and with others we maintain the ability to pick up right where we left off– even without seeing each other often or even staying in regular contact.
I definitely need the reminder to step back and evaluate a friendship and I thought the chart and way of gauging friendships mentioned in the article above was a very help and simple way to step back and do a quick reality check.
Most of all, after reading the above article, it renews my appreciation for the amazing friends God has blessed me with throughout my life, and it calls me on to be more intentional in my relationships.