2024

It is now 2024. I’m not actually sure how we got here but it turns out I’m getting old. I am realistic enough to think I can’t actually do New Year’s resolutions. I’m never good at them. But I also know I need to make some changes, spend some time working toward better equalibrium in my life. I don’t actually think there is any such thing as balance, but I do think I need to do a better job of building in some creative, life giving things for me in the midst of this wild foster parenting ride.

Writing is part of that. I am a writer. I process when I write and I have a backlog of processing to do. So maybe this neglected old blog will help me do that. Hold on, dear reader, it could get wierd.

But not as weird as my chair obsession, so maybe this won’t be a shock to you.

Now to figure out some actual goals… and figuring out how to actually accomplish something in my life again. Wish me luck. See you soon!

Coffee

It seems like if you take a several years’ hiatus from blogging and your life has changed drastically in that time, it only makes sense that your first post back in the game would be one about coffee. Because although a lot of things in life change, but my love for coffee is still very strong.

A person pouring water into a jug“/ CC0 1.0

So hello dear reader. Here’s my coffee update:

Cold Brew Coffee

I’ve been on a Cold Brew Coffee (CBC) for a few years now. I’ve been a coffee lover for years, but man, the cold brew and the making of the cold brew has been a bit of a journey. (I should also note that I still drink regular brewed coffee, I even brew it — mostly in the winter months when I want a hot cup of coffee, but I don’t want you to think I’m an insufferable coffee snob just because I’ve been on a journey with cold brew).

I started this cold brew making journey with a filter like this, which I really liked.

It sits in a 2 quart mason jar, works great, you can fill the jar quickly, let it sit 24 hours, and voila, ready to go. I would have to make a couple batches during the week, but it was quick and easy. The downside? The filter is kind of flimsy and after about a year of regular use, it began coming apart at the seam and came entirely off the metal ring on top and I had to give up on it.

The next kind I bought was this:

The mesh is metal not plastic and it is a lot more substantial. However, it takes forever to fill it. You fill what it takes, it very slowly filters down, you add more every time you walk through the kitchen, but to be honest, it feels like work. The coffee tastes amazing but it takes awhile to actually fill it, then let it sit the 24 hours, and a half gallon of cold brew isn’t enough to last me that long so it feels like regular effort. I will say this is very portable, packable when traveling but again the effort part annoys me. I WANT EFFORTLESS AMAZING COFFEE. 

Becoming a foster mom and having three kids with a million appointments to stay on top of and getting them out the door every morning makes me think my coffee still needs to be strong (actually stronger than ever), but needs to be prepared easily in advance and not clog my brain with one more thing I need to attend to when I walk through the kitchen. 

Enter my recent phase: 

The brew bag

I got a pitcher like this for $3 at goodwill.

And I tried this new system out on vacation. It was deliriously easy. I put in a couple brew bags full of grounds, filled it with water, let it sit on the counter for 24 hours, and then put it in the fridge. And voila! I had amazing tasting cold brew all week for myself and my friends. I left the coffee bags right in the pitcher and added water mid-week with no adverse effects. Amazing.

Since fridge space at home is always at a premium, I am not as dedicated to taking up the space with this pitcher but I’ll be bringing it up north again. I’m considering a slimmer version perhaps for my home fridge? Or a door version? 

I’ve been using a brew bag and a gallon pitcher at home which has been great. It lasts me most of the week with no effort and no thought. And the coffee is delicious. Zero complaints. (Apparently you could be more earthy crunchy than me and get a cotton reusable brew bag… but I’m going to be honest, that sounds like work– do what you will.)

The “recipe” I was loosely following said 1 pound of coffee per gallon of water for a strong cold brew concentrate that gets mixed 1:1 with milk, water, and/or ice for drinking strength. I use less grounds, and often soak them a second time to get all the goodness out of them, and I don’t mix mine on a 1:1 ratio.

I am a milk in coffee gal for the most part, but for a special treat I sometimes buy half and half. I also really love a splash of vanilla in my cold brew, adds just a touch of fancy. If I really have my act together, I will freeze coffee ice cubes to put into my coffee (but that has only happened twice, so let’s not pretend that’s the usual around here– again, seems like effort I may not have to offer).

And there you have it. My current cold brew coffee strategy. You’re welcome. 

Changing of the Seasons

I wrote this several weeks ago but wasn’t ready to post it. It may be a few weeks late but the sentiments and the processing are the same.

It is the beginning of September. It feels like summer has flown by but the year has been forever. We are still in these strange Covid times. There’s a contentious election staring us down and clouding everything and making it impossible to get a straight story about anything. I hate the tone of American politics. If history has taught us anything, I think we are approaching a revolution. My only hope is that this revolution also throws off the over regulation on every level of local government, which gives me heartburn on a daily basis in my job. 

September. Technically we aren’t in fall yet, but when everyone’s kids are back in school and the nights have cooled off enough to make some of the most delicious sleeping weather. Mmmm September is truly lovely in Michigan. 

The garden. Mmmm the garden. The back half where I only planted a few things has lost the battle to the weeds entirely. They are as tall as me. It is ridiculous. There is a pumpkin vine I planted from some unlabeled pumpkin seeds I had saved in the junk drawer. The vine has taken over. It is trying to drown out the tomatoes. It has covered the entire front area where I planted it. And it has even plunged into the depth of the weed jungle and is trailing out the other side into the goat pen. Almost miraculously there are a lot of pumpkins growing and that makes me happy. They aren’t pie pumpkins but those cool flat ish decorative ones. Well actually there might be more than one kind in there – hard to say in that jungle. I’ll decorate with them and then feed them to the goats and maybe save some unlabeled seeds in the junk drawer for next year. The circle of life. The tomatoes are ripening by the bowl full daily and I’ve already made a batch of salsa. The end of summer garden may look like hell but it tastes like heaven. 

One of my best friends has been battling a brain tumor for 14 years. It has been part of my life for so long now- and the latest MRI shows it is growing again and the doctors say we are out of treatment options. We knew this day was coming. The last couple years he has struggled with speech and mobility, after effects of radiation a few years ago. We knew we were nearing the end of treatment possibilities when it was last growing a few months ago. They tried just one more experimental treatment. And it isn’t helping. The tumor is growing again. We are out of treatments. We’ve had an amazing run with this tumor, but it is coming to an end, and far sooner than we are ready for. The doctors are talking months. 

We are staring down the end of a beautiful life just like that end of summer garden. And I am not ready. None of us are ready. 

I am bad at good byes. Really, really bad at good byes. This isn’t going to be easy. There is no way to make this better, just the option to walk the hard, raw, beautiful, and grace filled, tear filled journey to the end. Walking with the suffering and those that love the suffering. I am so thankful that we know that the end here is not the end. It is the beginning of eternal life. My dear friend has suffered bravely for many, many years. He has fought the good fight. And he is close to the finish. 

However ill equipped I feel to do this well, I want to be at the finish line, cheering him on, ushering him into the arms of our loving Father.  

Barbara blessing her namesake Rosemary Barbara at her baptism

Barbara Morgan once gave an absolutely beautiful teaching about the last rites in the Church. The beauty of the sacrament of the sick. The beautiful job we have as the Church ushering our loved ones into eternity. That phrase has rung in my head and heart for years now. I had the honor of walking closely with my Grandpa Gene in his last years and months and on to eternity. It was a hard journey but oh so beautiful. I know that he was ready and I know that he is praying for me now. Dear Barbara went last year. Ushered so faithfully through that raw and painful journey and into eternity by her loving family.

And here we are with Nick. The final stretch. 

I want to be strong for my friends. But instead I’ll just be there with them. I’ll cry and bake and falter and be vulnerable and available. I’ll let my godson mow crop circles into my yard and probably not even talk about how efficient the straight lines are. We can talk straight line mowing another time. 

The other day I went out to the coop to feed my laying hens and found a shell-less egg in the egg box. This thing is weird. It is all you expect inside a thin, flexible sack but without the shell. And all I can think as I carry this strange thing into the house is this… Grief is like an egg without a shell. Kind of gushy. There’s no disguising that things aren’t holding together quite right. It’s just there. Still you, but without your normal form, without protection. And that’s exactly how this feels right now. 

Meat Chickens…

After my stint as a bacon sitter, clearly it was time for my next farming adventure. I mean, goats are old news (I love them but two years in, the novelty is wearing off), and laying hens are practically normal, genius in times of pandemic even. Every aspiring farmer has to try meat chickens at least once in their life, right??

IMG_8556One evening, some friends and I were talking and drinking beer on the deck somewhere in the middle of this global pandemic– my pig farming friends, in fact– and I mentioned that I have considered meat chickens. Next thing you know, we are making plans to co-farm a batch of meat chickens. What could go wrong?

Is this where I admit I don’t even particularly care for chickens?? I mean, I appreciate their eggs (in the case of laying hens) and their meat in the case of those ones I buy at the store pre-packaged. But there’s talk of meat shortages and there’s nothing like a global pandemic to make me want to eat more locally. As local as possible. And it turns out, meat chickens are possible quite locally — in my own yard even. As we talked, we decided I was willing to be the on site day to day farmer and my friends said they would be in charge of the butchering (most processors are booked so far in advance you can’t get a slot right now). They hunt and butcher meat regularly and it doesn’t gross them out as it does me. Oh I’ll help – but butchering and the gore it involves isn’t my cup of tea. Maybe I can be the ziplock bagger at the end of this process but I certainly can’t be the chop the head off at the beginning of it. This is what talented co-farming friends are for. 

I cleaned up the abandoned goat hut (a marketplace purchase that was once a play house and chicken coop). Seems like it would make a nice outdoor chick brooder, right? We talk numbers. How many is too many? Me: “Fifty seems like too many.” So we order 40. Because that just feels right. Because we are insane. So my friend Erin who can do anything orders a batch of Cornish Cross meat chicks through our local farm store to be shipped the following week. (Lots of hatcheries all over the US are sold out of meat chickens for months to come — apparently we are not the only ones with this brilliant idea).  

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These busty chickens are bred to eat and grow meat.

It is supposed to be two day chick shipping – mmm hmmm. But there are riots in Minneapolis (did I mention the hatchery ships through Minneapolis?). Early on Thursday morning (the chicks reportedly shipped Monday), the dogs are barking before 7 am. I look at my phone. Erin texts that she’s in my driveway with a chick box. The post office had called her at 5.30 am to say she ought to get down there to pick up this cheeping box. The postal worker commented to her that something had died. Mmm hmmm. That is NOT a good smell. 

We opened the box and try not to gag. Of the 40 chicks, 13 were somewhat alive. None of them looked amazing. The dead ones were in various stages of decomposition. There aren’t really words to adequately describe the horror and smell in that box — revolting. We took the live (and kind of live) ones to the brooder, turned the heat lamp on, tried to get them drinking electrolyte water, and shuddered at the horror repeatedly. So. Gross. 

The ones in the brooder didn’t look great. Of course I’d gotten some of them wet in my haste to get some kind of sustenance in them. Really a pathetic little crew. Erin called the hatchery who apologized and said they would re-send the whole lot the following week and mentioned it wasn’t likely many of the ones we got would live through the day.

That night I got home from work and gingerly opened the brooder door. We were down to six and two of those were not moving around well. I helped them drink more electrolytes and hoped for the best. By morning we were down to 4. The survivors. For any of you math whizzes, that’s a 10% survival rate. Not a stunning success. And if you had smelled the package– well there was nothing successful about any of it just yet.

Naturally in the following week, I went down the rabbit hole of the internet and apparently anyone who has ever raised meat chickens has gruesome stories. Oh the stories they tell. Everyone has at least one complete disaster and has blogged about it. Okay. Well ours started pretty poorly but let’s play this out… 

A week later, Erin is calling the hatchery and post office and we are all getting more nervous as Tuesday comes and goes and Wednesday is underway.

Wednesday morning, I find myself out at the brooder at 7.30 am bathing a chick in warm water to get the poo off it’s bottom (pasty butt) and seriously questioning my life choices. I ponder if I’m willing to do this times 40 if required. Knowing I’m co-farming these beasts helps. If there are 40 chicks to bathe, I know I’ve got back up.

 

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Wednesday afternoon Erin got the new batch from the post office and found 41 chicks and only one of them looked really bad (it did not survive even an hour). She set them up in the brooder while I was at work. It already feels like an amazing victory already to not find a stanky box of chicken goo. A couple others didn’t make it through the first night. Anything that dies in the first 48 hours is refundable, a shipping casualty. After that, you’re on your own. We had a few die in that first day and then nobody after the 48 hour refund period (so far).

The four survivors from last week’s batch are a solid three times the size of the new ones and growing at an alarming rate. Add those to the new ones and we are back up to a solid 38 chicks. Running around, drinking, eating, pooping everywhere. All the things chicks are supposed to do.

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Let the meat farming begin!!

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New Normal?

IMG_7740This pandemic is very strange. It is interesting to hear how many times you hear the term “new normal” and while I do think we need to adjust and there’s no way this few months hasn’t shaped us and changed us permanently, I never know what to do with that buzz word “new normal” when what I think we all want is just regular normal. Real life as we have known it again.

IMG_7760This past weekend was a taste of normal for me (and yes, I realize my normal isn’t actually normal). Saturday started with a BST needing a jump start, the rental place being inexplicably closed (but with a message saying normal hours resume April 28th — so a week ago), thankfully the second rental place was able to rent me a post hole auger without too much trouble. I arrived at my house and Donal and the guys were waiting for me (running the hills, checking for eggs, ya know, the things we do in normal life). Patrick, a true hobbit, as soon as we find eggs, predictably said “I think we should eat eggth now.” We drilled three fence post holes near my garden where I need to upgrade the fencing and then loaded kids and an auger into the BST to go to Donal’s house.

My brother Emmet showed up to help Donal figure out property corners and lines. My sister Fiona showed up with fragels for everyone. We were ready for the day! We are fencing in Donal’s large lot — making for a lot of fence. Saturday’s goal was figure out where the fence goes and then get all the holes augered and wood posts in the ground. It was a brisk 35 degrees when we started (in May) and it definitely snowed briefly while we worked. Bah. We were also drilling in thick clay. Mmm hmmm. Fiona went to pick up the fence posts, my brother in law showed up to borrow the truck after that. We had some very excited young helpers. Excited to measure. Excited to use the manual post hole diggers (however unsuccessfully), excited for aunts and uncles and a project day. It was great. Lunch was pizza eaten in the garage out of the wind. We got all 18 holes dug and wood posts in the ground. In a few weeks we’ll be back to pound t-posts and stretch fence. Working together, showing the kids how to do complicated things, freezing our tushies off, it was delightfully normal and great to be at it together again.IMG_7759IMG_7736IMG_7747

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And then we departed a bit from normal … except that it still seemed totally normal. This is my life guys and I love it! Remember that tagline I chose a few years ago? “Live your best circus” Well…

In a long complicated tale, my city friends procured a few pigs (from a farmer in Ohio who had to sell them off privately or euthanize them because of processing delays).

Anyway, while I huddled under a blanket on the couch trying to warm up from a day of fence posting at Donal’s, I got the call that my friend was throwing her kids and pizza and beer into the van and heading our way. Her husband was picking up hogs and heading our way.

This is it guys, the great Hog Delivery of 2020.

Lest you think this was actual work on my part, it wasn’t. The hogs weren’t even destined to leave the large livestock trailer since it was just a day and it wouldn’t be worth the effort to unload and load strange hogs in a strange land. My part of this bargain involved owning a field you could drive a livestock trailer into. I donated a bale of the goat’s hay and filled a water bucket. Hog farming at it’s very best. Oh I also gave them some past it’s prime chicken broth and stale bread.

61082029816__56EEA6CC-CFDC-4BBE-818B-419107D5BF8DIMG_7764The kids ran the yard, kicked a ball for the dogs, climbed the big tree over and over again “Look Aunt Reenie, wanna see the dangerous part?” I got the whole amazing hog story and a beer and a lot of kid entertainment. The hogs arrived with much excitement. Everyone climbed on the trailer to take a look. And another look. And throw some apples. The hogs seemed a little dazed from their day of transport and the admirers, so we set the kids on making a big bonfire out of one of my stick piles.

It was a fantastic bonfire. My friend and his kids are amazing at making large piles of sticks disappear which is a skill I really appreciate. Not to mention I was finally warm after my cold day working outside. Marshmallows were roasted. Dogs were hugged. Kids danced on a truck cap. Played ghost in the graveyard. Tripping on a hose in the dark. All the finest entertainments. Normal. I mean, aside from the trailer full of hogs, and dad yelling “LEAVE THE PIGS ALONE!” (Just in case the neighbors didn’t know what was in the trailer).

IMG_7787After my friends left, I could hear the hogs in the dark, snorting and nesting in the hay. Good. Alive and well. Getting cozy. Let’s just say I went to bed happy and exhausted and slept like a rock. Hogs and all.

Sunday, as the rain moved in, Donal returned the truck with my fence posts and the auger (for me to return) and his gang needed a peek at the hogs and the dogs. Another friend and her family stopped briefly to visit their half hog (in the rain). Later the hog owners stopped in with more hog feed and their friend who is getting half a hog.

The visits were all short on Sunday, since it was raining. The dogs have never been so happy. Friends?!?! Twice in one day? Four times in a weekend? I echo their sentiments, even if we are still doing all this visiting in the great (cold, rainy) outdoors.

I don’t think I need a new normal, my regular old not-at-all-normal is good enough for this gal.

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Operation Heat the Upstairs

IMG_6136I am please to announce that on February 29, 2020, at approximately 10.30 pm, I did it!! I finished all the connections to bring heat and return air to the upstairs to the Little House on the Hill. 6.5 years after moving in, I am now heating my bedroom. In Michigan. Where we have cold winters. This feels like a big upgrade for this humble dwelling.

Last fall, I had a couple HVAC contractors out to look at three things:

  1. Bringing vents to the second floor
  2. A new AC unit (the old one died a couple years ago)
  3. Converting the furnace from propane to natural gas

The first company gave me a quote for #2, telling me that “when I install it, they would quote the vents, and that they can’t convert to natural gas.” Company #2 was far more helpful, the guy who came out does the work and knew a lot more than the estimator in Company #1. He answered several questions for me, pointed out a few things, etc. And followed up with quotes for all three things.

He said that bringing the vents to the second floor was going to cost $3,000. Gulp. And that didn’t include any of the real carpentry work or the finish work afterward – I’d still be doing that. It made the decision to run my own vents a lot easier.

The timing was important because the longest project spiral ever (living room door way, dining room, kitchen, bathroom, laundry room) was almost done but I needed to finish up trim. I realized I’d be wrapping it up just to cut open a spot in the living room to run the vents up. SIGH. I should just make the mess and then close it up.

I had to start researching everything I could about HVAC. It isn’t like installing subway tile where you can find 1000 easy to follow tutorials on how to do it. Nope, it is a murky search of threads and forums and professionals. I got a bunch of books out of the library and searched for critical info. I looked up specific questions. I read everything I could and started measuring, planning, thinking, sketching, and costing out materials.

The furnace is directly below the chimney in the living room. I knew from previous “research” (aka floor cutting up) that I could run the vent stack up beside the existing chimney and up into the kids bedroom, and from there into the attic. One straight shot up from the furnace to the attic and would just require boxing out the existing chimney a bit larger. It’s easy! Hahaha. Just like everything else, right?

My first trip to the home improvement store I spent over $400, knowing I’d be back (and I was… again and again and again). Know what is pricey?? HVAC ducting and especially the duct fittings!! Still, was it cheaper than the $3,000 quote? Yes, yes it was. It was strangely comforting having that number in my head for the month of messing around on this project. I’m saving myself thousands of dollars. Thousands of dollars. This headache is worth thousands of dollars.

Deep breath.

 

Another fun spin in this project was the fact that there was no return air vents on the first floor. There was one kind of hacked into the floor at the uninsulated bay window, and not realizing that’s what it was, I put a dog crate over it for several years and then closed it up entirely when I decided to insulate the floor of that bay window during the hardwood flooring install of 2019. Hmmm. Wish I had realized what was going on — but also it still didn’t work in that location so I would have had to move it then anyway.
Anyway, I needed to add return air somewhere on the first floor too.

I started by cutting the holes alongside the chimney. First in the living room – ceiling, floor, and then the kids bedroom: ceiling, floor. I cut an attic access into the upstairs attic – previously inaccessible. When I poked my head up there the first time, I was pleasantly surprised to just see insulation (though it needs more) but no random crap like I discovered in the lower attic section. Being inaccessible at least saved me that much. There was a mouse looking at me from across the small attic. Not exactly surprising but thankfully there wasn’t any evidence of an attic infestation or anything like that. He’s probably a loner mouse, crawling up into the attic for a little peace and quiet (shut up).

I’m going to spare you a lot of details because this project is not what I would call smooth sailing. Oh running the vents from the basement to the attic, pretty straightforward. But that’s where it ended. The duct fittings had to change to accommodate vent locations and the attic framing. I army crawled through the attic several times, releasing a world of insulation dust everywhere repeatedly. Duct fittings had to change to because I found a better way to do things- repeatedly. I’m not going to lie: I went to Lowes, Home Depot, and Menards a LOT during the month of February and spent a lot of money. And also had to special order a few parts. I may have cussed more in February than I have in awhile.

“These cuss words are saving me thousands of dollars…” And they did.

I tried to call in some Payback Saturday points early in the month but my mom was in the hospital and people were sick or doing taxes or doing anything but crawling through my insulation mess to help me with this. Such is real life. My cousin came by for a couple hours for her first Projects with Reenie Saturday. We patched up the subfloor in the kids room and she was with me while I cut the messy attic access. After teaching her some basics, she got the hang of the drill (woo hoo!!) and said working with me was “actually fun!” Excellent.

I got all the attic connections made. Holes into my ceiling for a heat vent and a return air vent. Hole in the kids’ bedroom ceiling for return air and put a duct along the stack near the floor for the heat. So the furthest run is my bedroom and that’s okay. I’m used to sleeping in the arctic so having it a few degrees cooler than the rest of the house is no great suffering and is to be expected. I can add a duct fan at a later date if it seems necessary.

Toward the end of the month, I connected the heat (hooray!!) but was still trying to sort out the return air connections. I cut a hole in the living room floor (the new, beautiful one) for the return air but couldn’t screw a box in while holding in place from below. Just not enough hands. So I admitted I really did need some help and that Saturday my brother Donal and his capable helpers (ages 3 and 5) came along with their tools and expertise (no actual expertise required).

It was the help I needed. We probably spent at least an hour of the four we had together debating solutions, standing there in a dank basement staring at vents and trunk lines to cross over, and the huge box of fitting options. We got the first floor return air box installed, and started connecting the return air vents (all in the basement at this point, just not connected to the furnace yet). He had to leave and we realized we needed two different connectors (of course). We were almost there but not quite!!! Determined to finish up, I showered and went to Lowe’s and then Home Depot (buying a few options at each store) but glad to not need to go to the further away Menards (who actually has a far better HVAC supply inventory). I went to Mass, turned down dinner plans, and went home to finish this thing. I was feeling desperate to get all the connections done!! 

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Naturally, when I finally got to the point of cutting the hole into the return air trunk, it kicked up so much dust I couldn’t breathe and almost couldn’t see. But I cut the hole, used straps as extra hands to hold connections in place, AND I FINISHED.

I turned the furnace back on and could immediately feel the return air pulling through. The bedrooms were warm and had return air pulling the warm air through the room.

THE HOUSE IS FINALLY FULLY HEATED!!!! 

And I lived to tell about it. IMG_6074

While not a cheap project, I saved thousands of dollars doing it myself. I learned a lot in the process. And I only burned through 4 hours of Paybacks. Booyah!! I also returned a massive amount of duct fittings that I didn’t need at the end. It felt great getting that money back into my account and that huge box out of my living room.

Did I mention my home is now fully heated?

Well it is. And it is great.

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Funny story: I keep my thermostat low at night because in the past, it was just the downstairs and the dogs live in fur coats (also I’m a miser and propane is expensive). Who needs it warmer than 55 degrees while you’re sleeping anyway? The first couple nights after the heat was running, I woke up sweating in my bed in the middle of the night. My room was a solid 53 degrees and I woke up because it was too hot to sleep. I’ve concluded I no longer need two big comforters, socks, a sweatshirt, and a heated mattress pad to sleep well. Removing a few layers has made a world of difference and getting out of the bed in the morning is 100% not as awful. 

February Goals

You know you’re a “real” blogger when you write a post and forget to hit publish for over a month. Oops. Let’s pretend it is still the beginning of February – and I’ll tell you my plans… 

  • Trip to visit my warm family: I try to make an annual pilgrimage to visit my cousin and her wonderful family in Phoenix in the January – February range to help the winter doldrums, give me a weekend in the sun with some of my favorite people. This year there’s a new baby to visit too! I’ll be gone for a few days (Friday night through Weds)
  • Finish the Heat to the Upstairs Project
  • Finish the Stairwell Project
  • Paint some furniture: I’ve got some in mind and February is a month I need to schedule in some creative, therapeutic pursuits.
  • Trim in the living room, dining room, kitchen. Finish it up. (Does not include painting)
  • Throw a Wine & Cheese to make February suck less party

As I say this, I am listening to a book called Finish by Jon Acuff. I am really enjoying it probably because it is written for people like me– recovering perfectionists. One of the things he says we should do to be successful is to cut your goals in half. I started this post with more goals, but cut a couple of them out (moved them to March). Sure, it might still be pretty optimistic but it is far more realistic than leaving it all on the list.

 

Small Town Perks

I don’t actually live in a particularly small town, but so often it feels like this because we live in a tight community of people and it makes this rather large college town feel like a small town in practicality.

 

If you ever wonder if you are part of a tight community, have a family member in the hospital. I grew up in this area, with these people, with connected people in the same parish, homeschool circles, ecumenical community. We know people and these are our people. Sometimes people you don’t think of as your people believe themselves to be your people and show up at the strangest times. This was such a time.

 

My mom went into the hospital with a raging infection. Very soon it became clear we needed to limit the visitors because she could have a dozen people in her room for all the hours of the day and night and get absolutely no rest. So I start posting asking people to check with me before visiting.

 

It still doesn’t work because literally everyone is convinced they are your mother’s best friend and the exception to the rule. Mmm hmmm. Small town living.

 

 

So there I am at the hospital on Saturday night. I’m meeting my aunt and uncle who are coming for a pre-approved visit. I walk in the door and to my surprise, there’s George sitting there. (The names have been changed to protect the guilty). George is a crusty bachelor in our church. He’s been around for most of my life, always a character. He’s my parent’s age ish. He volunteers at church, and is always in attendance there if there’s a free meal. George is a good, heart of gold kind of guy, but he’s an odd duck. High on enthusiasm and short on social clues.

 

Back to the hospital…

 

And George, with his tie tied at least 7 inches shorter than it should be, comfortably seated next to the hospital bed. My mom’s wide eyed look and uncharacteristic enthusiasm for my presence confirmed that George had just popped in, uninvited, and from the looks of things, he’d been there a while. Too long, clearly. I say kindly, “I should warn you her sister is a couple minutes behind me so we should wrap this up.” George continues telling a tale of his own medical history (as one does). I sit down for a few minutes, ready to play hardball if he doesn’t get the hint and wrap this up.

 

George turns to me “Maureen, can you believe it? I felt led to stop by after Church tonight and when I got here I was SHOCKED that there were no other family members here! I got the pleasure of your mom’s company alone for the past hour!! WOW!” Wow indeed. Time to go, George.

 

George continues, “So Patti, how are you? ” He gestures toward the IVs and devices. “Is this serious?”

 

Patti: “It is pretty serious but they are trying to get the infection under control and I’m hopeful I won’t need the surgery.”

 

George: “So basically I shouldn’t be surprised if next weekend they are announcing details for your funeral after Mass?” (In all seriousness).

 

Me: ……..

 

After regaining my voice: “Like I mentioned, we should wrap this up.”

 

George: I was hoping to come pray over you, Patti; if God healed you when I prayed with you, it would be really good for my ego.

 

Patti: “I’m not sure that’s how God usually works, but why don’t you pray on your way home since my sister is arriving.”

 

Me: ………

 

George finally appears to be getting the hint. “Well Patti, I just wanted to come visit and make sure that you knew you weren’t alone and and forgotten. You and Ken have done a lot of amazing things for a lot of people over the years, and we’ve been close friends for what? 30 years??!! And I have a lot of fond memories of the holidays I spent with your family when I had nowhere else to go.”

 

Let’s go back in history and revisit what I remember about those holidays we shared together: It’s been a long time, because my childhood dog Holly was still alive and well, but I have very clear memories. George had approached my dad at Mass on Thanksgiving morning and told him he had nowhere to go that day, for Thanksgiving. My dad, being the soul of generosity, invited him to have dinner at our place with the family. Much to our surprise, George decided to bring his two large dogs along (without notice), who apparently didn’t like other dogs. Keep in mind, the invite wasn’t for George and the dog pack, it was for George. I digress. Anyway, George gets out of his rusty car, opens the door for the unfriendly large dogs, who jump out of the car and attack my dog Holly. They get into a nasty scuffle in which Holly loses a chunk of her ear. George cannot believe this is happening. The minute there’s a break in the ferocity, I drag my dog into the house, while George puts his back into the car. I remember sitting on the floor of the bathroom, holding a shaking, bleeding dog and trying to staunch the bleeding ear, listening to sounds of Thanksgiving merriment happening below. I wasn’t happy to say the least. Who does this? Well, George does this. And honestly, even my young self, while horrified, you can’t actually hate George. He’s too affable for that. Too earnest. You can hope it never happens again though. (I should note that the following thanksgiving, George left the vicious dog pack at home).

 

Back to the present in the hospital room, I’m still internally choking about his mention of a potential funeral and I am dying that George brought up fond memories of our holidays together. You cannot make this stuff up!! I’m stifling a laugh remembering those memories and my dog living out her years with a chunk of ear missing from that fateful day.

 

I look at my phone and mention my aunt is coming in and he should take off. Thank you. He’s barely out of the room and my mom hisses at me “CLOSE THAT DOOR!!” She continued after the door was closed “He just showed up!!!!”

 

These are the marks of a small town, a close community, having people. Some of those people are bound to be quirky, to lack basic boundaries, and basic social skills. We will continue trying to protect her from those visits but also appreciate that it happens when you are part of a community that loves you well.

 

And thanks, George, feeling alone and forgotten in this current medical situation is the furthest thing from the truth. We are so loved and so blessed.

 

But dude. Call ahead.

 

I also told my mom she can call a nurse next time and make up an excuse “I need help getting to the bathroom” and ask him to leave. Or text me 911 and I’ll get over there and kick people out.

 

Small town perks, folks, they are so good, so bad, and usually so funny.

January Wrap

January is over. The month flew by. No, not all day every day, but here, at the end of the month, I am here to say it was a long, gray and very short month. Typically January is the month I want to hunker down, spend time at home, not see the fam who I see a lot in December, and just not be committed everywhere. There turned out to be several parties that I went to that were mostly family in early to mid-January so that felt a little over committed – and not because they weren’t lovely, just because it was more places to be. 

Remember those goals I set earlier in the month? Well let’s see how I did. I’m pretending this unread blog is my accountability: 

1. No spend January & February: I’m going to give my self a solid C on this. I didn’t buy much unnecessary stuff but I did end up spending a lot of $$ on project stuff. I knew I would but I can’t say it felt anything like a no spend month when you go spend $400 on hvac vents. 

2. The house. 

a) Laundry Room: I worked for two weeks of evenings mostly and got a ton done!! Electrical plugs installed, paint touched up, pocket door installed, trim installed, I made a hook rail for the ironing board, put in new hooks, painted the dog food potty chair… woooooo!! The trim needs to be caulked and painted but I am planning to do that in all the connected rooms at the same time.  

b) I also want to wrap up the trim in the kitchen & dining room and bathroom: I did not do this. (See d below)

c) Extend vents to the upstairs: I am in the middle of this project as we speak. It is kind of a brain bender because it is new to me and takes a lot of time to look up articles, watch youtube and think through all the things that need to happen. I should wrap this up in the next week or so. 

d)  New: As part of whipping the house in shape, I decided to do a quick revamp of the downstairs stairwell which serves as a coat closet. I purged, threw a bunch of stuff out, pulled everything off, painted, caulked, insulated around the window, put hardwood flooring on the landing, etc. I have a few finishing touches to do and I’ll post the whole project then. I basically opted to do this instead of the trim in the living room / dining room / kitchen since it made more sense to do this before the vent project and do the trim afterward. 

30 Minutes of House: I’ll be honest, I busted serious butt on the house all month. Did really well at getting started and making great progress. 

3. Exercise – 30 minutes of health: Fail. Other than the fact that I didn’t sit down in the evenings from the time I got home until quite late, I did no serious exercise. Let’s try again for February. 

All in all, I feel really good about what I got done. It was a gray, kind of gross month and I didn’t get major winter funk because I was keeping on task and getting things done. And what do you know, the month flew by. Wonderful. 

2020 Goals

This. I’m adding this as part of my 2020 goals because it says it so beautifully.

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
This new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”
–Ralph Waldo Emerson